


Across the Hall

by not_triangular



Category: AFI
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Javey - Freeform, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 17:34:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5342591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_triangular/pseuds/not_triangular
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Davey wants to fuck Jade, and he doesn't have a clue why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The creepiest hands he'd ever seen in his life.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Into_Evernight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Into_Evernight/gifts).



> This was originally published on AFIslash around 2011-2012 under the username lurkeratleast, and was inspired by a prompt from Into_Evernight, who I also have to thank for rescuing this fic from the old archive when it went down. :) I am planning to continue writing, and a new chapter is tentatively being vomited from my brain as we speak.
> 
> There is some het in this story, and I can't 100% remember the original chapter titles. Also, there are a lot of digs at Jade's character in the story, which I feel are kind of too mean, looking back. I apologise for how over-the-top gross I for some reason tried to make him sound. This has been re-read and very mildly edited for grammar reasons but is otherwise intact and vaguely cringe-worthy.
> 
> There is absolutely no truth to this story, and it's not meant to cause any harm, libel or copyright infringement. I am not somehow making money from this, although if I was, that would be kind of cool.

Everyone knows that your college years are the best years of your life.

For Dave Marchand, or Davey as people insisted on calling him, this seemed to ring true. Three weeks in, and he was having an absolute blast. His half-hearted studying had paid off, landing him a spot at UC Berkeley. Liberal arts degree: English major, maybe double major in Psychology later down the track. Hell, there was time to decide.

The moment he nudged the door of his room on campus open with his sneakered foot and dropped his suitcases onto the floor, Davey was home. This feeling of belonging only increased upon meeting his roommates. Hunter was a goofy history major with a toothy grin who seemed to do absolutely no work but charmed the hell out of everyone he came across, while Adam was a pre-med who, apart from the odd judgemental comment over his fellow roommate's degree choices, was a pretty chill guy. By the end of Orientation week, the three of them were thick as thieves, having bonded over endless house parties (spent awkwardly in the corner), and several (petrifying) attempts at seducing college girls.

One particularly memorable attempt had involved Davey, a monumentally drunk girl, and a love seat in someone's backyard. Spurred on by his friend's encouragement and despite his better judgement, Davey had spent the better part of an hour attempting to make witty conversation with this girl, who was bordering on comatose. Her replies became increasingly incoherent, until finally she had simply slumped forward and puked all over his knees.

Finally listening to his better judgement, Davey had held the girl's hair and rubbed her back until she was well enough for the three of them to manoeuvre her to the relative safety of their dorm. It was agreed that she take Davey's bed, as she had been his "conquest", so to speak, and it was impossible to extract any information whatsoever from her by this point. Davey spent all night kneeling on the floor beside the bed, holding her hand and making sure she didn't choke on her own puke. Being pre-med, Adam had occasionally called out helpful advice like "keep her on her side" and "make her stop choking like that" across the room.

The next morning, they found out that the girl (who was incredibly confused upon waking up to a room full of concerned boys) was a freshman called Linda, who liked the Cure. To Davey's surprise, their friendship had lasted even longer than her hangover.

On starting classes, Davey came to realise that he not only enjoyed English, he could be good at it. To his amazement, he discovered he actually possessed an attention span, something which had eluded him throughout his entire high school career. Rather than spending his lectures throwing spitballs and scrawling obscenities on his sneakers, Davey found himself knuckling down, totally immersing himself in classic literature, creative writing, psychology, philosophy - and loving it.

Between all that, and the fact that the cafeteria food was a considerable step above high school quality, Davey was as happy in college as a pig in mud.

Well, there was one minor issue.

The minor issue's name was Jade Puget, and he lived across the hall.

Davey had recognised him the day he moved in, having grown up skating with his younger brother Smith in Ukiah. As the older brother of his best friend, Jade featured as a constant presence in the background of Davey's childhood memories, but was never someone he thought about as relevant to the rest of his life. Nonetheless, Davey had been pleased to see Jade, a familiar face from home. The first couple of hours of Davey's college existence had consisted of sitting in Jade's room, reminiscing about home and getting up to speed on the "essentials" of life at Berkeley.

By the end of his first day, Davey had realised several things about Jade.

The first, was that Jade Puget had the worst skin, worst teeth, worst hair, and creepiest hands he had ever seen in his life.

Secondly, was that Jade cracked his knuckles practically every thirty seconds. In the middle of a conversation he would start to stretch out his fingers and crack them, one at a time, as slowly and loudly as physically possible. The sound made Davey's insides crawl.

Third, was that Jade was simultaneously the cockiest and most socially awkward person Davey had ever spoken to. Get him talking about something he could feel superior about - guitars, music, skating - and you couldn't get a word in, he was so eager to elaborate on exactly what it was that made him the best guitarist, the most knowledgable about obscure music, the best skater. But the second the conversation turned to other subjects, he'd withdraw completely. He'd start muttering and fidgeting, his hands occasionally ghosting the air, unconsciously reaching out as if he was trying to cradle his guitar.

Finally, Davey had come to the realisation that he wanted to fuck Jade Puget.

And he didn't have a clue why.

Within ten minutes of meeting up with Jade on that first day of college, Jade had whipped out his Maton acoustic and started showing off quite unsubtly. To Davey's horror, he had found an entirely unrelated chain of thought unravelling in the pit of his stomach. Staring at Jade's creepy, long fingers delicately plucking at the strings of his guitar, Davey was struck with a forceful mental image of those creepy, long, skilful fingers working their way in and out of _him_ , flattened into Jade's mattress, biting down hard on the pillow and _loving every second of it_.

"Hey, you alright?" Jade had asked, regarding Davey's pale face with offhand curiosity. "You look like you're going to be sick or something."

"No. I'm fine." He desperately tried to kill his rapidly growing hard-on with the most sexually unappealing images he could bring to mind - Smith in swimming trunks, his grandmother, labradors, table tennis... Smith in general...

When Davey had finally left Jade's room, hours of mostly musical conversation later, he had no idea what to think. He staggered the short distance to his room completely shell shocked, his entire body protesting at being removed from what had suddenly and inexplicably become the object of his desires.

It was just weird. He didn't even think Jade was good looking in any conventional sense of the word. If anything, he found him a little bit repulsive. It just didn't make sense to get carried away over someone he barely even knew. All he could do was chalk it up to sexual confusion and forget it.

Unfortunately, things only got worse from there.

***

There was nothing wrong with what he was doing.

There was nothing unusual about sitting in the common room around nine o'clock on a Friday night, reading. That in itself was completely normal. Davey had walked past countless students doing weirder things in the common room, at much weirder hours.

The fact that he knew Jade would be coming in soon from night classes? That was nothing but an unfortunate coincidence. It wasn't even his choice to be sitting out here, alone with Hemingway. He would much rather be digesting American literature in the comfort of his own bedroom. It definitely wasn't his fault that Hunter had exiled both his roommates in favour of quality time catching up with his girlfriend. Where else was he supposed to go?

Clearly, he couldn't have followed Adam and Linda out to a party that was happening across campus. That would have just been stupid; he had reading to do. No, Davey decided, he was being a responsible student, and the fact that Jade would be walking through the door any second now was completely irrelevant.

And the fact that, if Jade did just so happen to come back from night classes and see him, he would probably invite him to come and hang out in his room? Well, that was just an unfortunate coincidence that had nothing to do with where Davey was sitting. The fact that Davey had been hanging out in Jade's room almost every night had nothing to do with who Jade was or what Davey thought of him - it was just because Jade lived across the hall, and Davey's roommates always seemed to have homework to do. It was convenient.

The door swung open. Davey glanced up, and there he was. Dishevelled, somewhat disgruntled, messenger bag slung over his shoulder looking like it was about to implode with the weight of all his textbooks. Jade.

"Oh, hey," he said, giving Davey an odd look as if to say, how did you get here? "What are you doing?"

"Hunter's girlfriend drove up for the weekend," Davey explained drily. "I've been exiled."

Jade laughed, a throaty chuckle that made the bottom of Davey's stomach drop. "I had a roommate last year who used to do that all the time. We got sick of it in the end, and just started kicking him out whenever he brought a girl over."

"I think we're all too passive-aggressive for it to ever come to that," Davey said. "We'd be more likely to leave hostile sticky notes, drink all Hunter's milk, that kind of thing."

There was that throaty chuckle again. Davey grinned inwardly to know that he was the cause of it. "Can't say I've ever been there. I hope it never comes to sticky notes. I don't think there's any going back, once you reach that stage."

"No hope of a normal relationship."

Jade collapsed on the couch next to Davey, making a contented noise as he dropped his bag on the ground. He was staying to talk. Davey registered this, somewhere in the part of his mind that wasn't desperately trying not to think about how touchable Jade looked with his hair messed up and biro all over his hands. How nice it would be to lean over and cuddle into Jade, right there on the couch, wrap his arms around that wiry body. Every fibre of Davey's being ached to do it. Even Davey's fucking toes wanted Jade. That was how bad he had it.

"I'm so fucking tired," Jade muttered, stretching out and starting to crack his knuckles. Davey winced at the unpleasant sound, a tiny part of him crumbling away and dying inside. "What about you, anyway?" he asked, cracking his whole hand.

"What about me?"

"Girlfriend?" The word was practically foreign to Davey; he had to stop himself from choking out a laugh. "Aren't you and that, uh... I forget her name, but you're with her all the time...?"

"Linda? Nah."

"Huh." Satisfied with his knuckle-cracking abilities, Jade slumped back in his seat. "I assumed you were."

"Nope," Davey repeated. "Er, what about you?"

"Oh, I have a girlfriend," Jade said quickly, "She's a freshman. Law student."

Immediately, images of sexy law-student-y women with glasses swanned into Davey's head. Uninvited, they started to drape themselves all over Davey's mental image of Jade, completely disrupting the session of intense making out that had been going on between him and Davey's mental image of himself.

Leaning forward, Jade began what appeared to be a complex stretching routine, completely unaware that just a few casual words had thrown Davey's internal fantasy world into anarchy. He started to crack out his shoulders and stretch his back, twisting from side to side. "Sorry," he muttered, catching Davey's eye. "My joints are killing me."

The rational part of Davey, the part that had always been just a little skeptical about his chances of life-affirming sex with a sophomore he barely knew, shrugged and choked out something that sounded like "so how long have you been with her for?"

"We've only just gotten together, actually," Jade smiled sheepishly. "She's really nice. You'll probably get to meet her sooner or later."

In Davey's head, the sexy law-student-y women morphed into one _really nice_ law-student-y woman, faceless but sweet, sitting and holding intelligent conversation with Davey's mental image of Jade. Imaginary Davey was nowhere to be seen, exiled by this female intrusion.

They fell into what would have seemed to Jade like companionable silence, Davey flipping pages every minute or so. Jade had recommenced his knuckle-cracking routine, and the sound served only to magnify the turmoil that was going on in Davey's little inner universe. The implications of Jade's words were flying around in his alarmed brain like flapping headless birds, crashing into one another and sending a cloud of feathers into the air, confusing Davey even further. _You'll probably meet her_. So she was staying around. Staying over in Jade's room? Davey couldn't work out if he was more disappointed or more turned on at the thought of Jade's apparent girlfriend sleeping in his room and everything that went with that.

It wasn't like he'd ever had any claim over Jade, but he had definitely been entertaining the notion that something could have happened between him and Jade. And it had been nice, while it lasted. After all, this was college. Things like this happened, thing like this were possible, in college.

Or at least, things like this were supposed to happen.

So far, they just seemed to be happening to other people.

"Hey," Jade began, breaking Davey's train of thought. "I was going to go upstairs. You wanna come hang till it's safe to go back?"

He could have said no and gone to the party. He could have pretended he had somewhere else to go. He could have said no thankyou, I really need to finish my book.

"Sure," said Davey, wincing at how eager he sounded. Feeling like a puppy, he got up and followed Jade up the stairs to his room, fully aware that he was going to spent the rest of the night feeling sorry for himself because Jade was now With Girlfriend, and Off Limits.

He could still watch the back of Jade's legs ascend the stairs in front of him though, right?

Totally harmless. Nothing wrong with doing that at all.

***

"Hey, Dave. Davey... Dave?"

Davey peeled his forehead from the desk in front of him, grumbling. Why did his head feel so heavy?

Smirking, Adam gave him an encouraging kick from under the table. "Come on, you lazy fucker. That isn't rocket science." Every single thing about Adam's demeanour implied that he was, in fact, dealing with rocket science on a daily basis rather than introductory medicine, therefore there was no reason for Davey to be pissy about having to do his English homework.

"Why is it any of your business if I do my work or not?" Davey muttered ungraciously, trailing off as he let his head slump back onto the desk. It was so unfair. Why did he have to be so exhausted all the time? Of course, he knew exactly why. It was fucking Jade. Or rather, it was not fucking Jade that was the problem. Either way, Jade was the fucking problem.

Knowing there was nothing he could do to bridge the gap between fantasy and reality only seemed to make Davey's fantasy world determined to work even harder. Every ounce of creative energy he possessed seemed to be automatically channelled towards picturing, in great detail, increasingly complicated scenarios in which he and Jade were fucking. The difference was, these visions depressed him twice as much as before, now that Jade was With Girlfriend.

He had tried simply avoiding Jade. But it was difficult, when the only thing that separated their living quarters was about two metres of hallway. What was worse, was that Davey still got this perverse kind of enjoyment out of seeing Jade. When Jade cracked his knuckles or waxed lyrical about some complicated scale, instead of the twinge of annoyance he would expect to feel, Davey just sort of ached a little bit inside. He still craved the way the room seemed smaller whenever it was just him and Jade in it, the way he felt like the only person in the whole campus whenever Jade looked at him with that twitchy, half-solemn expression he wore when he was on the verge of delivering some great speech. Whenever he actually did manage to go a whole day without running into Jade, he would feel physically nauseated and off balance, so much so that he could barely sleep. Jade was literally disrupting his day to day existence.

Davey knew that things couldn't go on like this. He needed help.

"Adam?" he asked tentatively, raising his head a little and regarding Adam across the table with one eye. He wasn't entirely sure if Adam was the person he should be seeking help from, but what the hell, there was nobody else in the room.

"Mmmn?" Adam looked up from the piles of paper in front of him, sensing the change in Davey's tone. "What's up?"

There was definitely an edge of caring in his tone. Encouraged, Davey pressed on.

"Well..." Davey began, not entirely sure what he wanted to say. "There's this, uh... person..."

Adam raised an eyebrow at Davey's obvious distress.

"He, uh..."

Adam raised an eyebrow even further, motioning for Davey to spit it out.

Where was he supposed to start? He hadn't even told Adam that he was attracted to guys; he wasn't even sure what was going on there himself. Wasn't this the kind of thing you were supposed to have worked out by the end of high school, anyway? What if Adam reacted badly? They had to share a room for the remainder of the year - it could get awkward. Davey rubbed the back of his neck, fretting, unsure of himself.

An unexpected knock at the door prevented Davey from spilling his guts all over the table.

This knock was followed by another, more insistent knock.

"Aagh, really?" Adam stood up, muttering darkly. "Er, hey Linda. What's up?"

"Hey, how are you?" she said distractedly, leaning into the room and looking past Adam, who was stuck standing awkwardly by the doorway. "Oh, hey, Dave. I wanted to, uh, ask you something."

Davey propped his head up on one elbow, still unwilling to remove himself entirely from the desk. He nodded for Linda to go ahead and ask, but instead she seemed to be shuffling from foot to foot, glancing nervously around the room. Baffled, Davey finally extricated himself from his chair. This wasn't Linda-like behaviour at all; she had never had a problem with invading their personal space before, and had taken to busting into their room frequently. It had gotten to the point where greetings weren't required; she would simply bang on the door or kick it, and start ranting the second somebody let her in.

"You know my friend Rose?" Linda smiled tightly at him, her facial features weirdly empty of sarcasm. "She's... well, we're going out on Friday night. It's a group da-- thing. I was wondering if you'd like to come?"

Well.

This was new.

Fully aware that Adam was seconds away from initiating a fist-pumping session on his behalf, Davey replied that hell yeah he would.

"Okay, that's cool," Linda grinned, visibly relaxed. "We're going out to some Italian place that Rose assures me is awesome... and cheap, more importantly."

"Sounds great." Davey said, trying to process this unexpected development. Linda was nice (some of the time). Linda was pretty (he assumed). Linda was sarcastic and hilarious and liked the same music as him. Linda was easy going and her friends weren't (very) intimidating to him. He could (probably) be happy with Linda. Going out with Linda would (hopefully) erase all thoughts of Jade from his mind. Maybe this was going to be a good thing. He looked at her, really looked at her - pale hair, smooth skin, twitching lip, body a ball of coiled up restless energy. Maybe.

The three of them chatted in the doorway for a while; by the time Linda left, they'd managed to talk out the awkwardness of the situation. Davey scooped her into a hug as she left, wondering what the protocol was for dating now that they were no longer in high school. As far as he could tell (with the exception of situations involving alcohol as a social lubricant), dating in freshman year was about the same as it had been in high school: clueless, awkward, and vaguely unsettling.

The sounds of Linda's footsteps disappeared down the hall. Adam turned to Davey with a shit-eating grin on his face, punched him a little too hard in the shoulder, and commenced fist pumping.

***

That night, Davey lay in bed and tried to think of Linda as he went to sleep.

He thought of her almost-white blonde hair, the way her eyes crinkled when she laughed at him.

She probably would have laughed, had he decided to tell her about Jade. But once she was finished laughing about how ridiculous he was, she would have tried to help him figure things out. He tried to shift this mental image, tried to imagine just talking to Linda. Not about Jade. About like, their feelings. Or music. Or something. Awkwardly, he tried to insert a kiss into that mental image.

In Davey's uncooperative mind, they both jerked away from the kiss instantly, paused, then burst into fits of laughter.

Kissing Jade? Kissing Jade would be simple. He could only imagine how easy it would be to cross the distance between Jade and himself one day, sitting on the bed in Jade's room. It was too easy to imagine Jade's tongue in his mouth, his chapped lips moving against his. It was disturbingly natural to conjure up images of himself, writhing on top of Jade, messing up Jade's dirty blue sheets. His tongue going straight to Jade's jacked-up teeth, his hand balled around Jade's weird, long fingers...

The expression of absolute certainty on Jade's face when he would reach for the buckle of Davey's belt.

With a considerable mental effort, Davey reigned in his imaginary subjects. He wasn't supposed to think about Jade. He was supposed to fall asleep thinking about Linda, wishing she was here with him... Him and Linda in bed. No, not in bed like _in bed_. That just brought to mind the other night, lying on top of his covers, chattering about what bands they did and didn't like. Him and Linda, in bed, having sex. He forced himself to picture women. Curves. Nudity. He thought about him and Sarah halfway through Senior year, dredged up half-forgotten memories of three in the morning, half-drunk fumbling. Of one long Sunday afternoon in her bedroom, parents absent, door locked, blinds drawn shut.

He remembered the "Can we?" and the "I want to". He remembered "I love you", and his avoidance of a reply. He remembered the complete lack of emotion he had felt when they finally managed to do it, and the sinking, guilty feeling when he realised afterwards that if this was what sex was, he would be perfectly happy to go his entire life without a repeat performance. Obviously, Sarah had deserved more than half a boyfriend. Obviously, it hadn't ended well.

Davey sighed. He rolled over, hugging his pillow.

It was probably better not to think about it too much.


	2. Like a dodgy porno.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone who is reading this. You're awesome! 
> 
> This is a work of 100% fiction, with no disrespect intended to any persons living or dead. I'm not making any money, or improving my position in society, or becoming a better person, or helping aid world peace by doing this.

"Dave, seriously. Come here. You obviously haven't thought about this much."

Rolling his eyes, Davey crossed the room to stand in front of Hunter. "What? What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"For one, you look like a homeless person. When was the last time you had a haircut?"

Davey ran a hand through the greasy tendrils of hair piled on top of his head. He had no idea when he had last washed his hair, let alone had it cut. Maybe Hunter had a point. "Well, what am I supposed to do about it now?"

"Linda likes the grease!" came Adam's input from the back of the room, where he was hunched over on his bed, notes splayed out around him. "Leave the grease alone!"

Hunter flashed Adam a withering look. "Adam, when was the last time you had a girlfriend? Yeah. That's what I thought. Okay." He turned his attention back to Davey, running a hand through his own spiky, blonde, decidedly clean hair. "I don't know, jump in the shower and wash it, I guess... there's not really time, is there?"

Davey shrugged helplessly. Linda would be coming to pick him up any second now. It was emasculating enough that she was driving _him_ there in her massive, ancient Jeep (he was stuck in vehicle-owning limbo, caught between empty promises and a lack of income), now he was being told that he looked appalling. The whole fifteen minutes he had spent getting ready for this date had been a complete waste.

"Well," Hunter said, fishing around in one of the many piles of clothes on the floor. "I would swap that t-shirt for something that doesn't have a giant hole in it, for one thing. Er, I guess you can wear my jacket too, if you want - its not real leather, don't give me that look..."

Davey pulled his t-shirt over his head and grabbed the first item of clothing that Hunter offered him. "Is this better?" he asked indignantly, pulling on a hole-free Rancid t-shirt. "I guess I'll take your jacket, too... thanks."

"You might be alright," Hunter mused, "Maybe Linda's one of those girls who isn't concerned about the little things... appearance... personal hygiene..." he trailed off as Davey's scowl increased. "Hey, don't worry. Seriously. You'll be fine."

"Yeah, you'll be fine, Davey." Linda strode in their open door, clapping Davey on the back. "Seriously. It's gonna be okay, little guy."

"Being told that by someone as short as you are..." Davey muttered, looking down his nose at her. "You look nice, though."

It was true; Linda did look nice, even if Davey was baffled as to whether her outfit was supposed to be a dress or a shirt. "Thanks," she said, smiling at him and Hunter as she wandered over to have a look at what Adam was doing. They muttered between themselves about cells or something for a couple of minutes, while Davey grabbed his wallet, tried to rearrange his hair to look decent, and generally panicked.

When they eventually got out the door, Hunter waved them off with mock enthusiasm. "Bye Davey! Bye Linda! Stay safe! Don't have too much fun!"

Davey took Linda's hand in his as they walked down the hall. She chattered away about all kinds of things, not once commenting on his personal hygiene, or lack thereof. He felt pretty good. He felt on top of the world. He felt fantastic.

"Rose and her boyfriend are so cute," Linda babbled, tugging on her seatbelt as Davey clambered into the passenger seat of her car. "He's almost as good a musician as she is a singer... have you heard her sing before? She's amazing."

"Nah, I--"

"Not even that time at Lenny's house, before the cops showed up, when everybody was singing karaoke... oh God, Adam that night, he was tanked like you wouldn't--"

"I wasn't with you," Davey reminded her, wincing as Linda nearly backed into somebody's Beamer trying to pull out of the parking lot. "I had a paper due."

"Oh, right. Well you missed out, cause Rose got up in front of everyone and she was amazing. I don't think Jade was out that night either now that I think about it, some shit about--"

If Davey had been a dog, his ears would have pricked up. Did Linda just say _Jade_? Was Davey going insane?

"What did you say?" he demanded, turning to face Linda. Nonplussed, she made a "hunh?" noise at him whilst scanning ahead for the next turn, running her fingers along the steering wheel as though the key to Rose's vague directions was buried inside of it.

"You don't think who was out that night?"

Linda gave a little squeak of triumph at finding a street she recognised. "That's it... must be down here... Yeah. Jade. Roses's boyfriend. Oh, here it is! I think you must park round the back... aagh, fucking cyclists..."

Davey trailed after Linda into the building, barely noticing the elaborate facade or the cherubs-flanked stone fountain outside the entrance. Until his heart stopped hammering painfully loud in his ears, he didn't trust himself to speak. He had no idea whether it was going to upset him, freak him out or worse, turn him on, to spend an entire night sitting across the table from Jade and His Girlfriend.

***

Despite having taken every wrong turn known to man, Davey and Linda arrived at the restaurant ahead of Rose and her date. Having no idea what name Rose had booked their table under, they tried explaining the situation to the waitress at the door, who obligingly scanned through the list for them.

"Oh, look, there's only one reservation for four at six thirty," she remarked, a frown creasing her forehead. "It's for, er..."

Craning over to read what was written on the ledger, Davey couldn't help but cringe when he spotted what was clearly one of Jade's attempts at humour. There, written neatly beside the group details and booking time, was "Batman."

Linda rolled her eyes at Davey. "That'll be us."

They were led to a booth alongside the window by the young waitress, who left them with menus and the promise of complementary water. Davey stared around the inside of the building, content to take in the old, ornamental brass fixtures around the ceiling, and the wood-panelled walls, which were deep red, and lavishly decorated with wall hangings and prints of classical paintings. "I like the walls," he remarked after a while. "The cherubs and shit. It's really cool."

Linda turned to look at him; she'd practically had her nose pressed against the window since they sat down. "I don't know when they're getting here. They were supposed to meet us five minutes ago."

"Don't worry," Davey said, "They're probably just stuck in traffic." He waved his hand reassuringly at the window, secretly hoping that this was the case, and that they would simply never arrive.

"Mmm, I'm sure it's fine..." She pushed her hair out of her eyes and picked up the menu, while Davey distracted himself by glancing at the people seated around them. There were a few couples, talking softly to each other, and a man by himself in a corner, contentedly sipping wine. Despite being formally decorated, there was a warm atmosphere to the place, and the conversation of the people within it carried easily around the room.

"Hey, look at this," Linda said, tilting her menu towards him. "You can get a pizza with all this stuff on it for fourteen bucks... yeah, don't give me that look, they have vegetarian. D'you wanna split one when we order?"

"Sure," Davey said, nodding. "'S pretty reasonable."

"It is, isn't it? I was expecting it to be way more expensive. It's nice in here, right?"

"Yeah, I like it." Davey smiled at her, and they both turned away. Awkward, inane comments about the restaurant had suddenly become all they could manage for conversation. And now, suddenly, Davey found himself feeling self-concious about the way he sat, the way his mouth moved when he talked, how close he was in relation to Linda. They weren't exactly touching, but they weren't not touching; his leg was resting beside hers, and he could feel the warmth of her skin through his jeans. Was she expecting him to do something else? Davey's previous experience with girls was another world away, hundreds of miles back at home, essentially useless and drowned by the impending presence of Jade. He could almost picture him now, clean white linen shirt, confidently striding into the building, one arm clamped possessively around Rose, who was turning into more and more of a vixen in Davey's imagination the longer he thought about it...

And then he didn't have to try and picture it any more. Because Jade was right there, at the door, clean and well-dressed but noticeably anxious. His hand was hovering nervously over the small of Rose's back as she tried to explain, straight-faced, to the waitress at the door that she and Jade were with "Batman".

Rose kept looking at Jade with an expression caught between exasperation and amusement as they came over to sit with Linda and Davey. "Hey Linda, hey Dave. Sorry about the stupid name," she said to them. "That's the last time I let a sociology major make a reservation."

" _I_ think I'm hilarious," Jade told her, one side of his mouth flipped up into a smirk.

As much as he disagreed, one look at the white, crooked teeth exposed by Jade's smile left Davey with a lump in his throat and nothing whatsoever to say.

By the time the waitress came around to take their orders, Davey had all but abandoned hope of this being a successful night, with anyone. Rose and Linda had been talking solidly to one another in some kind of fast-paced, excitable girl language for what seemed like forever, both of them completely oblivious to their supposed dates beside them. Jade was clutching Rose's hand in his on the table like it was some kind of lifeline; she seemed unaware of this, frequently picking her hand up out of his grasp to illustrate a point. Davey wasn't even willing to try and make contact with Linda. She was too fast.

Nothing was going how he had pictured it.

His and Jade's small talk at the beginning of the night had trickled down, slowly but surely, to nothing. They had drifted into what they were both pretending was a comfortable silence. Davey couldn't understand why he was finding it so hard to string together a sentence. It probably had something to do with the stifling atmosphere of the place, or the fact that he desperately wanted to be on the other side of the table. If it was him, he would take Jade's hand. He wouldn't ignore him. He would be able to think of things to say. He could have made Jade laugh. If it was him.

Unable to fathom entering the girl's conversation and too petrified to even look at Jade for fear of giving himself away or sinking into a coma of white-shirt related fantasies, Davey sat and stewed across the table from the object of his desires, while the girl who was supposed to be desiring him acted like he didn't exist.

It wasn't until Linda tapped him roughly on the shoulder that Davey realised he had been missing a crucial discussion. "Dave," she hissed urgently, "they don't card here."

Sensing hesitation, Rose reached across the table to place a reassuring hand on Davey's forearm. "I've been here loads of times. They really don't care if you're underage."

Davey stared at her. "So?"

"So... I'm saying, we should all go in for a couple bottles of wine, and take a cab home. Be classy."

Nothing about the way Rose and Linda were beaming at him suggested that "classy" was what they had in mind. It made Davey feel like the floor had been pulled out from underneath him. "Er, no need for a cab. I'll drive you all home."

"Thank you!" Linda squeezed his arm. "I better give you my keys now, don't let me forget."

"Could we catch a ride too?" Jade asked. He was already bent over the wine list with Rose, bickering softly over prices.

"Well, it's pretty far out of my way. I mean, you live all the way across the hall from me, and Rose is in a whole other building."

Rose poked her tongue out. "You're too kind. Really."

After that, it was like a curtain had begun to lift. The food was brought around, along with a bottle of the cheapest red wine in the world, and for a little while Davey floated along, making easy conversation with everyone and sharing a pizza with Linda as the people around him slowly started to laugh louder and eat sloppier.

"Dave," Linda said quietly, sometime during the second bottle.

"Yeah?"

"I'm having fun." She took his hand in her smaller one, and Davey wondered if he was supposed to feel this guilty.

By the end of the third bottle, Linda was leaning against him, muttering about how tired and full of pizza she was. Jade, on the other hand, was the most animated Davey had ever seen him as they exchanged battle stories about shows they'd been to. Davey's mood was improved exponentially by the fact that Jade was so intent on their conversation he kept ignoring Rose's attempts to get his attention. As Jade strung him along with a very obviously made up story that involved himself taking on a bunch of huge drunk guys in a circle pit, Davey couldn't help but think how easy this was. He didn't care that the number of drunk guys Jade had apparently defeated kept changing from two to fifteen; he didn't care that Jade had tomato sauce on his collar, or that he was intermittently cracking his knuckles in between talking and drinking. He was caught by the candlelight flickering over Jade's chest, the veins on the back of his hands that twisted along his forearm. The way his voice cracked when he was trying to suppress laughter.

The way that, when he paused to make a point, he would flick his eyes over Davey's face and there was almost a smile in his mouth.

Apparently Rose was caught too. Catching Jade mid-sentence, she grabbed at his neck and yanked him into a kiss. To Davey's surprise (not that he was watching or anything), Jade pulled away, holding her hand instead. They leaned into each other; he was talking to her in what sounded like an apologetic tone. Davey could have sworn he caught the words "wait" and "later". Not that he was listening or anything. They leaned together so close that their foreheads were touching, and Davey had to look away because the way they were talking so quietly made him feel more like a creep than if he had been watching them make out.

Feeling like he had been punched in the stomach for no clear reason (they hadn't even kissed for very long), Davey stood up, head swirling with contradictory thoughts. He shouldn't have come. No, wait, he should just be enjoying himself more. Maybe Jade shouldn't have come. Everything would be fine if Jade wasn't there. He was being ridiculous about Jade. He shouldn't be leading Linda on, even if the night so far had felt more platonic than anything else. Or maybe he should have done something to solidify things with Linda; maybe if they were making out right now, he wouldn't be this confused. Or maybe it would just be unfair. To both of them.

He inched his way past Linda and out of the booth. "I'll be back," he said, heading towards the bathroom. He needed to clear his head. He needed to get away from all these stupid drunk people and their stupid drunk whispering. He stared at himself in the mirror, splashing water onto his face. The tinny muzak fluttering around the bathroom had an oddly soothing effect; the longer he stood there tapping his foot, staring at his pale face and greasy hair in the mirror, the calmer he felt.

He ran his hands thought his hair, making his fringe spike up. He was making a big deal out of nothing at all. All he needed to do was go back out there and wait it out until everybody got too drunk and tired to stay there any longer. Then, he could drive them all home, tell Linda he wanted to stay friends, and ignore Jade for the rest of his life. Or until his relationship with Rose expired. Whichever came first.

He just needed to stay here for another minute. Think of things to say. Then he'd be fine.

Just as Davey turned around to leave, the door swung open, and he was confronted by Jade, looking a little softer around the edges thanks to the low lighting of the bathroom. "You alright?" he asked, seemingly unaware that he was blocking the door.

"Yeah."

Jade nodded, but to Davey's unease, didn't move. "Well, I don't feel fantastic," he said eventually. "Could you stay here a minute?"

"Sure, I guess." Davey nodded, followed him to the sink. "You're not feeling well?"

"I think I'm gonna puke." He leaned over the sink, running water over his face, not seeming to care that his hair was getting wet and turning into a stringy mess. Before he knew what he was doing, Davey was leaning over Jade, holding his fringe out of the way of the running water. He felt Jade startle at the unexpected contact, but instead of pulling away, he just muttered thanks and kept splashing water onto his face. Feeling like he was the intoxicated one, Davey took a deep breath and started to stroke Jade's hair, still pushing his fringe back with his other hand.

When Davey's fingers started to trail down the back of Jade's neck, he finally moved, jerking upright and wrenching the fawcett off. "What are you doing?" he said, turning to face Davey. There were droplets of water running down his face and into the collar of his shirt, and he pushed his own hair back with one hand, leaning against the sink. This reaction wouldn't have come as a surprise to Davey, except for the fact that Jade didn't really look disturbed, or annoyed. Just curious. Like he actually just wanted to know what he was doing.

"Nothing," Davey shrugged helplessly. "Sorry."

Frighteningly, Jade failed to reply. He just stared instead, somewhere off to the left of Davey's ear, like he was trying to figure something out. Stomach lurching, Davey stared back. At the wall behind Jade. The floor, to the left of Jade's foot. The place on the sink near where Jade's hand was resting.

"I'm not a lightweight," Jade said, finally. "I can take my drink. It's not that."

Davey nodded blankly.

"I think it might have been the food. My neck's really sore, too. I have no idea why." He started to rub the back of his neck as if to illustrate his point, wincing at the tension. "Can you come here and help me out?"

The situation was beginning to resemble the lead-up to one of Davey's fantasies, or else a really dodgy porno. Having no idea what was going on, Davey nonetheless came forward and started to rub Jade's neck. He didn't have a clue how to massage; he just kneaded the flesh underneath his thumbs, trying to press into the soft spots around Jade's shoulder blades. Jade's skin was clammy with warmth and water, but the touch still made Davey's stomach curl up.

"That's good. Keep it up." Jade said after a while, then added thoughtfully: "I think it might be your fault."

"What?"

"That I feel like puking." He was suddenly indignant, as if it were obvious what he meant. "And ever since the first day of semester, my joints have been killing me."

"Why would that be my fault?"

Jade didn't answer. He just took a deep, rattling breath and without a word, reached behind him and closed a hand over Davey's, stopping him in his tracks.

"What are you doing?" Davey all but squeaked, alarmed as Jade took hold of his hand and started to drag it down his body.

"Your fault," muttered Jade, bringing Davey's hand to a stop right on top of the bulge in his jeans. "Ever since you came here, I've felt sick."

Davey's whole body shuddered as the weight of what he was feeling came crashing down on his head. Jade's jeans filled his hand, the denim zipper brushed against his thumb. Barely breathing, he moved his thumb across the zipper. Back and forth. Trying to prove to himself that this was really happening. Underneath his elbow, Jade's heart was thumping in its chest. Jade was just as nervous as he was, just as terrified. If not more. He could tell by the way he was shivering, by the way his voice cracked when he said _sick_. Only dimly aware of oblivious girlfriends in the next room, only feeling vaguely guilty for it, with only half an idea of what the hell he was even doing, Davey put his hands on Jade's hips so lightly he could only feel the material of his shirt, and made to shift him to face him.

Taking the hint, Jade turned so he was right in front of Davey. His face was right there, so close he could see the pores in his skin and the acne scars. Jade was smiling, his crooked front teeth teeth gleaming in the soft glow of the bathroom, tinny soothing muzak a blur in the background as he reached for Davey's face with shaking hands, his long fingers slotting in under the curve of Davey's jaw. Slowly, carefully, eyes wide open, he tilted Davey's face upwards until their lips were pressed together. He gasped at the contact, a fist balling up in the pit of his stomach and dropping straight down, jolting his entire body when Jade opened his mouth, slicking his tongue over Davey's lips, into his mouth, against his teeth.

Gently, Jade was steering them, turning Davey to lean him up against the sink, kissing him like he was hungry, pressing more and more of his body into Davey's until he was right up against him, still cupping Davey's face with his hands, radiating impossible warmth. This wasn't real. This wasn't happening. Jade's breath tasted like ketchup and shitty wine, so this had to be real, because in Davey's fantasies Jade always tasted like fucking strawberries or something.

More than anything else though, being pressed up against Jade felt right. In spite of the fact they were both shaking so much that Davey's hip was being repeatedly knocked against the basin of the sink, he had never felt more sure about anything. The faster Jade kissed him, the more he felt his body streaked through with the best pins and needles he'd ever felt, knees weak, every touch of Jade's tongue to his sinking down his body and coming to rest in the crotch of his jeans. Jade was fumbling with his shirt, pulling it up and rubbing his cool hands over the bare skin of Davey's stomach. Jade's hands wormed their way upward, awkwardly flitting over his chest as though he wasn't sure what to do until his thumb brushed against Davey's nipple, and the younger boy twitched like he'd received a mild electric shock. Encouraged, Jade pulled his mouth away from Davey's and started to kiss a crooked trail down his neck, breathing heavily as he came down and slid his tongue right over the hard bump of Davey's nipple through the fabric of his t-shirt.

"Shit." Davey had to bite down hard on his lip to stop himself from making an embarrassing noise. This only seemed to spur Jade on; the next thing he knew, they were kissing again, sloppy and too fast and Jade's hand was up his shirt again and now he was doing something to his pants and he really really was starting to think it was pushing their luck that nobody had come in so far and wasn't there somewhere they were supposed to be and why was Jade's leg suddenly vibrating against his, what the hell was that and oh crap. What the hell was going to happen now?

"Ah, fuck." Jade broke away from their kiss, shaking his head as though trying to clear it and figure out where he was and what the hell he was doing, fishing a cell out from the pocket of his jeans. "Fuck," he repeated, looking up at Davey for a flicker of a second, his expression unreadable. "We should really go."

Fully aware that nothing would ever be normal again, Davey followed him back out into the restaurant.


	3. The longest night in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty long-winded and doesn't have much of a pay-off in terms of slashy content. If you have any thoughts, positive or otherwise, that you'd like to share, please feel free! I am very open to constructive criticism, the more critical the better.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and this is all just made up stuff with no basis in reality.

As far as Davey was concerned, what had just gone down in the bathroom between him and Jade was right up there with Armageddon. It was End of the World status. End of the fucking universe. The line between fantasy and reality had been blown apart completely. The complete end of all reality, all time and space, seemed the only likely outcome.

It was disconcerting to say the least when Davey realised that time had not stopped in the slightest. Neither had Rose and Linda.

"Where have you been?"

Linda eyed him anxiously, swaying, the remnants of yet another bottle of wine clutched in her tiny hand. "Where did you go? Tell me..." she implored him, fixating glassy eyes on Davey when he moved around the booth to sink down beside her.

"The bathroom--" Davey started to say.

Before he could fumble for some kind of explanation, she was curled up against him, her thin arms wrapped around his shoulders and her face buried in his chest. "I was so worried," she said, her voice filled with some kind of drunken awe at Davey's miraculous return. "But I'm also really tired now. I would like to go home... please."

"Sure," Davey heard himself say, patting Linda awkwardly on the shoulder. "We'll pay... and then we'll go home." He couldn't help but feel like he was holding some kind of fragile animal, like a baby bird, in his arms. His own voice sounded hollow in his ears, weirdly distorted by the fact that he had no idea why the world wasn't tilting crazily on its axis right now.

Rose was slumped against the wall, her dark hair spilling over her shoulders. Jade slouched beside her, staring blankly into space. The way his shirt stretched over his shoulders and chest but began to crinkle around the top of his narrow waist was doing Davey's head in.

The next few moments were excruciating. Davey called a waitress over to ask for the bill. It felt like he was in slow motion, raising his hand and watching it arc through the air while some corner of his brain continuously calculated the exact distance between himself and Jade. He swore he could hear Jade breathing from across the booth as the four of them, with varying levels of success, tried to split the bill. He measured the weight of every flickering look, the hesitation in every gesture that Jade made.

Jade appeared borderline catatonic as they (mostly Davey) figured out the bill. He emerged from his petrified state only to push a wad of notes towards the middle of the table, his gaze flicking up at Davey and Linda and then darting away just as quickly as he muttered something unintelligible that sounded vaguely like "here you go". Despite the fact his words barely resembled speech, every syllable he spoke seemed to remain in the air, sinking deep into Davey's ears and penetrating his mixed-up brain. By contrast, Linda was feather-light beside him.

Davey looked down at Linda, her skinny arms wrapped around him for support. He felt a pang of guilt permeate the static electricity and overwhelming thoughts of Jade that were clouding his head. Aside from his room-mates, Linda was the best friend he'd made since moving to college. He knew he was going to have to tell her, one way or another, what had happened in the bathroom. If he wanted to do the right thing, which he assumed he did, then there was no other option. He patted her on the shoulder, already regretting the loss of her friendship.

"Davey, take me home. If we keep sitting, I'm not gonna be able to stop myself drinking and then I'll just puke and it won't be classy any more."

Davey glanced across the table at Jade, who was looking at him from under half-closed eyes, his head leaning on his forehead. He felt a pulse of longing shoot through him as Jade's eyes met his, and the other boy slowly raised an eyebrow. _This night doesn't even remotely resemble classy._

***

The entire car trip home was silent. For Rose and Linda, it was a comfortable, sleepy intoxicated fuzz. For Davey, it was more like his heart was trying to nudge its way out of his throat. He was on the brink of complete existential crisis, adrenaline-pumping elation surging through him mixed with guilt and the terror of not knowing what was going to happen next. What if Jade refused to ever speak of it again, or to acknowledge that it had happened? What if Davey had grossly misjudged the whole situation, and Jade had been much more intoxicated than he'd given him credit for? What if Davey had actually just taken advantage of Jade? Hunched over in the back seat, Jade also appeared to be on the verge of a meltdown, although whether his doubts were the same as Davey's was impossible to tell. This was illustrated by the fact that the second Davey manoeuvred Linda's hulking beast of a car into a car spot on campus, Jade leapt out of his seat, nearly strangling himself with his seat belt in his rush to get out of the car.

"Hey, wait, where are you going?"

Jade did a double take, turning sheepishly to help his girlfriend step out of the Jeep. "Sorry," he muttered. "Didn't think you'd... yeah..."

"Okay." Rose looked perplexed, but let it go. She took Jade's hand and began to walk off, attempting to lead him in the direction of her building. "Come on then. Night Linda, night Dave. It was fun hanging out! Thanks for driving."

"Wait. I can't." Jade stayed put. Davey watched with undisguised interest as Jade fumbled his way through a series of feeble excuses as to why he couldn't spend the night with Rose. "I'm just tired, okay? I need to sleep. I mean, I really need to sleep, Rose. Come on." Even to Davey, who probably would have jumped off a bridge for Jade at that point, his voice sounded whiny. "I've got lots of stuff to do this weekend. Essays--"

"What essays?" Rose was indignant. "You told me before you had nothing to do this weekend."

"No-- why would I lie about having school work?" Jade was starting to raise his voice, but he suddenly softened. By the look on his face, he had probably just realised that he was being a dick. "I'm sorry," he said, sounding like he actually meant it. "I really am. But I can't stay with you tonight though. I'm too drunk. And so are you."

Rose sighed. "Oh, whatever Jade. I guess it's okay." She let herself tilt forwards into his arms, her hands landing around his bony waist. She looked up at him with an expression somewhere between sleepiness and affection, causing Davey to feel a sharp stab of envy. "As long as you give me a kiss goodnight."

Davey suddenly found it very important to give his full attention to getting Linda's things out of the car for her.

The urge to turn away fought with an even more insidious urge just to _stare_ at Rose and Jade, to pick apart their physical contact and compare it to how he had felt, pressed up against Jade. If it had been him holding Jade, swaying drunk in his arms and kissing him goodnight, he was sure he could somehow have done it better than Rose. Davey was so intent on not looking at Jade and Rose that he was caught by surprise when, instead of having to block out the sound of their goodnight kiss, his ears were filled with the righteous indignation of a spurned girlfriend.

"What the fuck, Jade? What's the deal? You won't even kiss me now?"

Davey and Linda both spun around to stare with unashamed interest at the scene that was breaking out.

"Look." Out of habit, Jade's hands kept reaching for Rose's arms, and then jerking away. "I'm sorry Rose, I just-- I think there's some stuff we need to talk about. Later. When you're not wasted."

"WHAT? We have STUFF to talk about? Since when do we have emotional baggage, Jade? We've been dating for like. A week."

"It's been nearly a month--"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT."

Rose took a step forward. Jade took a step back. He glared around him, frowning at Linda and Davey, who were still gawking openly.

Sheepishly, Davey realised he was clutching Linda's handbag in a death-grip. "Here," he said, offering it to her.

"Oh. Thanks." Linda's eyes widened blearily at him, as though it had startled her to realise he was still there. "Ugh." She put a hand to her head. "I really don't know what I'm doing right now. I'm barely a person. I need to sleep this off." She looked around slowly for a few seconds as though gaining her bearings, her brow crinkling with concern and bemusement at the scene Rose and Jade were making. "Thanks for driving, Dave. I had a pretty sweet night."

Behind them, Rose was sputtering with fury. "If you're going to lose your shit over 'stuff' you don't even have the guts to fucking tell me about, then please, Jade. Just man up. Fuckin' A. Spare me your bullshit excuses-" she raised her fingers to indicate quotation marks, her voice rising in a shrill but accurate imitation of Jade's whining, "-oh, no Rose, you're too 'drunk'. You're 'emotionally unstable' right now. Come on. Just cut the bullshit and tell me."

"Rose, chill. I'm not talking to you like this."

"You're not TALKING to me? Well FUCKIN' A, Jade. You've been treating me weird all night." Rose began to pace in a small circle, throwing her hands in the air out of sheer frustration. "Dammit! What the fuck is your ISSUE?"

"This is getting way too loud for me." With an exasperated sigh, Linda turned on her heel and began to wander off in a direction that vaguely resembled that of her building. She was swaying noticeably from side to side. Davey caught her by the arm.

"Here. Let me walk you back to your room."

***

"Wonder what was going on with Rose and Jade."

Linda was lying curled up in bed, her face a pale oval in a mass of colourful pillows as her eyes followed Davey around the room. He was making her tea, struggling with the fact that she didn't seem to own a single clean mug or cup. Most nights, it would have been him, Linda and his room-mates, sitting around half-drunk, drinking tea and debriefing after a night out. He had walked her to her room, helped her fumble with her keys and tucked her into bed, all the while trying his best to act like a friend helping another friend out, as opposed to a potential love interest who had just betrayed her by making out with her best friend's boyfriend.

Davey shrugged, his stomach clenching at the mention of Jade and Rose. He poured boiling water into a plastic cup he eventually found lurking at the back of Linda's cupboard. It occurred to him that the cup might melt.

"Thanks." Linda sat up, holding out her hands for the tea. "She said he'd been really hot and cold all night. Weird." She took a sip, then winced at the scalding water. "People should learn not to argue with Rose when she's trashed. She gets all righteous and hysterical."

"She was definitely righteous." Davey was perched awkwardly on the end of Linda's bed, ready to make a run for it at the first available opportunity. He had felt obligated to make sure Linda got to bed okay, but beyond that, his nerves were buzzing with the desire to get out of the room before he felt any more compelled to spill his guts. He knew he would have to tell her about what had happened with Jade eventually, but it seemed wrong on so many levels to tell her now, when she was drunk and sleepy and happy to be alive. The awkwardly feminine scent of a room shared by three girls was also beginning to get to him, the mix-and-match scent of at least three different kinds of perfumes rising so sharply in his nose that it was almost accusatory.

"I'm gonna go to bed," he said abruptly, standing up too fast.

"What? Okay."

"Night." He smiled at her as he turned to leave; she flashed a few teeth at him, and turned back to her tea. She looked as if she were about to go to sleep. Good. He would deal with the consequences tomorrow, with the added benefit of about fifteen hours of sleep.

He was out in the hallway, gently closing the door behind him, when Linda called him back. "Dave. Wait."

"What's up?" he asked, slinking back in, trying to keep his voice from rising with irrational panic.

"Look, I just wanted to talk to you about tonight," she began, horrifyingly. "I had a good time, and I really like you. It was fun. But I don't think it was much of a date." She frowned, mistaking something in Davey's facial expression for disappointment at her words. "I really like you," she repeated, her voice softening with unnecessary reassurance. "As a friend. As my, uh. Like my brother. Yeah. Uh..." It was clear that she was beginning to exhaust her quota of words to string together. "You know how it is."

"It was weird," Davey admitted, sitting beside her on the bed. "I didn't think it was fair to say anything now, cause you've, y'know, been drinking. But I thought so too. We'd be a weird couple."

"I know right? I can't actually imagine it." Linda sputtered with laughter. "I kept looking at Rose and Jade tonight and thinking, like, I don't really feel like that about you. Like, the whole time we were at that restaurant. I mean, the pizza was good. I won't lie. But it was fuckin' awkward. I would have way preferred to just be chilling with you and your roommates all night."

Davey would have felt relieved, if it weren't for the fact that he had made out with Jade in the bathroom and not told anyone. "At least we got that out of the way," he heard himself say, while the rest of his brain grappled with the idea of telling her about it. Or not telling her. He couldn't figure out which was worse.

"At least we did," Linda sighed contentedly, wrapping an arm around Davey and leaning into his shoulder. It was the first time they'd touched all night and it had felt natural. "It'll be way better this way. You can be my wingman. Or I can help you pull chicks. Or something. Actually, I have no idea how that would work..."

Davey felt as though he was about to explode with guilt and dread and indecision.

"Maybe I could help you pick up chicks by acting like your lesbian best friend," Linda was rambling nonsensically, chuckling at the idea. "I could like, get them and seduce them, or... no, wait, then _I'd_ just be pulling girls. That doesn't help you... Oh, wait! I could be your ex-girlfriend." Her face lit up. "I could pretend like we'd been high-school sweethearts, or something, and give you glowing reviews..."

"Linda."

"...but most girls wouldn't like the idea of a guy's childhood romance hanging around him all the time... no, that's definitely impractical..."

"Linda."

"...I'm sure we'll work something out tho-- what's up? Why the sudden urgent repeating of my name?"

Davey took a deep, rattling breath. "I think I'm gay," he heard himself say, as a warm-up to the big confession, and all of the air in the room seemed to disappear.

"...Oh." Linda was very quiet, her eyes huge under her bangs. She pulled away to look at Davey properly. "That kind of makes sense," she said slowly. "But I don't understand. Why did you wait so long to tell me?"

"I wanted to. But I wasn't sure," Davey admitted honestly. "But that's not the only thing."

Linda raised an eyebrow. "And you're sure now?"

"Not because of you," Davey said quickly. "It has nothing to do with you. No. I mean, I'm still not sure. Not really. But that's not really what I need to tell you." He felt as though his heart was about to leap out of his throat. He had reached the point of no return. Linda was watching him patiently, waiting for him to continue. He took another deep breath, inhaling the smell of someone's floral perfume that permeated the air around them like a punch in the back of the throat. "I, uh. Look. You're going to hate me."

"What? No, Dave, nothing you say is going to make me hate you." Linda threw her arms around him, only to have him wriggle out of her grip and to his feet. "Seriously," she said, half laughing, half confused. "You're freaking me out. Just tell me."

Davey didn't even know what to say. So he blurted it out at once, the words tumbling past his lips with no regard for subtlety, tact, or the increasingly blank expression on Linda's face. "I like Jade. I've liked him since I moved here. I don't even know why I wanted him so much, because, let's face it--" at this point, Linda's mouth quirked into a smile-- "he's pretty much just an arrogant dick with weird habits who thinks he's hilarious, but isn't. So anyway. So I liked him, for ages, and then I mean, I wanted to tell you about it and I probably would have, but it just seemed so ridiculous. I felt like this dumb kid with a dumb crush, except that it was literally interfering with my day-to-day existence. I mean, I was pretty much deranged over it."

He fell silent, cutting himself off before he got to the restaurant bathroom. Linda was looking at him steadily, her expression unreadable, waiting for him to get to the point. Davey looked back at her, telling himself to maintain eye contact and to stop tripping over his own words. As an afterthought, it occurred to him that if she decided to start throwing shit at him once he'd told her, he should probably just bear the brunt of any missiles that came his way. It might give her some kind of satisfaction.

"It sounds stupid, but I didn't actually know that _Jade_ was Rose's boyfriend." Davey's eyes fell on Linda's bedside table. There was a hairbrush with a wooden handle that could do some serious damage if she decided to lob it at his head. "Like, I knew her as your friend, and I knew him, but I didn't know they knew each other…. but that's irrelevant. The point is-- I don't even know how to tell you this, but--" he faltered. "I mean. I had no intention of this happening--"

"Of what happening?"

"When we went out tonight, I went to the bathroom. And Jade came in." Davey dropped his eyes. "And I-- he-- we. Stuff happened. No, look. Okay. We made out. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry." He braced himself for the inevitable torrent of rage to come his way, every apology, every excuse known to man coming to the forefront of his brain, ready to be utilised as a defence.

There was no attack.

"Aren't you going to say something?" he asked, eventually, when he realised Linda had been staring directly in front of her, silently, for several minutes.

She didn't look up. "You need to leave," she said, her voice barely rising above a whisper.

Now that Davey had told Linda, the ground was no longer shaky beneath his feet. He stayed put. "I'm sorry," he repeated, more sure of himself this time. He extended a hand towards her. "Say something. Yell at me. Lose your shit. Please."

"Please don't touch me." Linda turned slowly, looking at him like she'd never seen him before. "I'm not going to _yell_ at you," she told him, her voice still dead quiet, "because that is something a _friend_ would do. Yell, and then get over it. Make up." She was crushing the edge of the blanket between her fingers with agonising slowness. "I don't think that screwing around being my back, and Rose's, is something that a _friend_ would do."

The air between them was poisonous, all of the tension and guilt Davey had been harbouring that night filling every inch of Linda's room. Davey eyed the scene in front of him, Linda sitting dead still and silent, tensed with anger like a balled fist, and felt a perverse sense of relief. This was even worse than he had expected, but at least he had told her. At least he hadn't let it fester between them for days, or even weeks. At least he had been honest.

"You're a weak person," Linda said suddenly, and Davey finally felt the sting of her words in the pit of his stomach. "I didn't think you were the type of person to take what you wanted, and not care about how it affects other people, but you must be." Her voice sharpened. "You have to go now. I mean it. Leave."

***

Unfathomably, the door to Davey's room was locked. It took a full minute of rattling the door-knob for Davey to accept this fact. This was impossible. It simply didn't happen. The only circumstance under which their door had _ever_ been locked was when Hunter needed to have catch-up sex with his girlfriend. And this was _not_ Amanda's weekend.

"Fuck," Davey muttered under his breath, giving the door a good kick. "What's going on? I want to sleep. Goddammit. Hunter! Adam!"

There was a huge amount of scuffling from inside, whispered voices, and the rustle of rearranged sheets. Intrigued, Davey stood stock-still, listening to the unmistakeable _thunk_ of a shin meeting a hard surface, and the resulting grunt of annoyance.

"Hey, hey, hey. Ssssssh." Adam's half-naked torso emerged from behind the door. He was oddly sweaty, and he looked less than pleased to see Davey. "What are you doing here?"

"Dude, I live here. And it's one in the morning. What are you doing in there?" Davey ducked his head, trying to see past Adam into the room.

Adam leaned forward conspiratorially, completely shutting out any view of the room behind him. "Dude," he hissed urgently. "You have to find somewhere else to sleep tonight."

"What? No!"

"No, no, please. I mean it." Adam dropped his voice. "Look, I'll explain tomorrow. Just-- you gotta let me have the room tonight." He was clearly shuffling from foot to foot by the way his head and shoulders were tilting from side to side in the narrow space of the doorframe. A little grin kept appearing and disappearing across his face.

"Is everything alright?" came a distinctly female voice from inside. Adam gave Davey a meaningful look.

"Where's Hunter?"

Adam shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. Drinking somewhere. Call him. Or-- I dunno." He threw a nervous look behind him. "Can't you just go and crash with Linda?"

"Okay, fine." Davey heaved an exasperated sigh, and Adam's face lit up like he'd won the lottery.

He tried to call Hunter. He really did have every intention of crashing wherever he was, or of finding one of their friends and crashing on somebody's floor that night. But Hunter had picked up after about twenty rings, his voice unintelligible gibberish amidst a blur of male voices and throbbing bass. Davey wasted at least a minute yelling into the phone, trying to make himself understood, or to discern Hunter's location. But it was ultimately useless. Anything Hunter tried to say was immediately drowned by the sea of hollering drunken nonsense that surrounded him. Hanging up on Hunter, Davey began to pace down the hall.

It was with a stomach twisted into a fist of anticipation that Davey found himself outside Jade's door.

He knew that it was a terrible idea. He knew it was past the hour of ridiculous in the morning. He knew that Jade might well not want to see him. He knew that Jade was most likely asleep, or could even be with Rose. He knew that, right now, when he was exhausted and trembling with anxiety and barely thinking straight, he really should have been finding somewhere else to sleep. Anywhere else, really.

Holding his breath, Davey knocked. Before he had the chance to change his mind, Jade opened the door.


	4. Blurry half-thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I had written as of like 2012 or something. To anyone who has made it this far, thank you for reading!!! :) I am sincerely hoping to write more and thus finish this story in the near future.   
> No harm or libel intended. 100% fiction based mostly on caffeine-induced delusions with no basis in reality whatsoever.

"Davey?" Jade rasped. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "What time is it?"

He was tilted against his doorway, looking bleary and disoriented and lacklustre, his bedroom dark behind him. His hair was a mess, earlier efforts to tame it apparently for nothing. Shirtless, his lower half disappeared into the waistband shadows of an ill-fitting pair of faded boxers. Davey felt a sinking in his stomach at the sight of Jade's bony shoulders and narrow hips, and a twinge of inexplicable repulsion when he realised Jade's boxers were decorated with badly-drawn cartoon bees.

"Something past one. It's ridiculously late," Davey answered honestly. "I can't go back to my room. Adam's got someone in there, uh. You know. I can't find Hunter." There was, hopefully, a question somewhere in that sentence. He couldn't take his eyes off the stupid bees.

"Oh. Okay." Staying true to his title of the most socially awkward person in the world, Jade gave no further response. He just stood there, leaning further and further into the doorframe. He just fucking _stood_ there, much to Davey's horror.

The seconds ticked by, Jade seemingly unaffected by the pregnant silence between them. The silence was so heavy Davey swore he could hear Jade's fucking bees buzzing. Taunting him.

"Don't worry about it," Davey said hastily, feeling panic mounting. "I can just-- uh. Go somewhere else. Sorry. You were asleep--"

"What? No. It's okay." Jade shook his head. "You can crash here." There might have been a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, or it might have been a facial twitch, the kind that usually starts to appear right before someone loses their shit. It was impossible to tell. He turned, one hand resting on the door frame. "Come on then."

It never really got dark on campus. The patchy light from the parking lot outside, and the fluorescent hallway bars of light from under the door combined to render Jade's room in an odd, uneven semi-darkness once the door was shut behind them. They both hovered in the middle of the room, uncertain of where to go.

"Do you need any clothes?"

"No thanks," Davey replied, in spite of the fact that his skinny legs, encased in even skinnier jeans, had been protesting all night at their confinement. He folded his arms across his chest, hit by a sudden chill in spite of Hunter's faux-leather jacket.

"Okay."

To Davey's absolute shock, the next thing that happened was not an awkward conversation about where Davey should sleep. Nor was it a harshly-worded rejection, a "what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-here-Davey-you-totally-ruined-everything", or Jade completely losing his shit. No, what happened next was that warm hands came to rest on Davey's forearms, which were still tight across his chest, and then they were hugging each other, in this loose warm heavy-breathing but reassuring kind of way. Jade's hands relaxed over the small of Davey's back, and Davey was breathing into Jade's neck, inhaling the smell of sleep and the sound of the other boy's shaky breath.

Something about the pressure of Jade's body indicated that neither of them were going to need to let go any time soon, so Davey closed his eyes and let his head tilt forward to rest against Jade, temple pressing against his cheek.

"I can't believe I cheated on my girlfriend," Jade said eventually.

"I told Linda what happened," Davey offered.

"I told Rose." Davey could feel Jade's jaw moving against the side of his face when he spoke. "We were standing in the parking lot for ages after you guys left. She just kept yelling about all this stuff. I didn't want to tell her like that then but I guess I just blurted it out, kinda of."

"What happened?"

"She cried. Later I insisted on walking her home to make sure she got to bed okay. Obviously she wasn't happy about that." He paused, throat quivering with a dry chuckle. "So we're walking back to her room, and she's crying and screaming at me the whole time. So loud that half of her hallway's bitching about it, and one of the RAs comes out of their rooms and asks me what the fuck I'm doing to this girl." Jade's hand moved against Davey's back, very gently touching the fabric of his shirt with the pads of his fingers. "So what happens is, Rose tells her. Everything. That happened. And this girl is just like, 'fuck me, man.' Fuck me. Fuckin' A. So half the hallway's heard this whole thing, obviously, because Rose has no idea of volume at the moment. And the whole time I'm just listening to Rose and thinking, man, that Jade guy is a fucking asshole. So that happened. Sorry, I guess. So now that's happened, and now. I mean, I didn't expect to see you here. I didn't think you'd want anything to do with me."

"What?" Davey pulled away to raise an eyebrow at Jade. "Why wouldn't I want anything to do with you?"

"It was a bit of a dick move, really." Jade raised an eyebrow back. "I did kind of just throw myself at you."

"I wanted that to happen for a long time," Davey said, and instantly the tightness in his chest that he hadn't even realised was there, disappeared. He felt infinitely lighter.

Jade was watching him closely. Davey counted the freckles across Jade's nose, some so light they were barely visible at all.

"Should we go to bed then?"

"Okay."

The sheets were slightly warm, still holding some of Jade's body heat from before. They knocked together, lying on their backs, bony arms and legs adjusting to try to fit in the small space, not really touching but not _not_ touching either. Personal space was impossible in a single bed. The rest of the space in the room seemed to disappear, compacting into a cloud of static that surrounded the bed they were lying in.

"What happened when you told Linda?"

Davey bit his lip, eyes flicking over to the vague silhouette of Jade's face in profile, lying on his back on the wall-side of the tiny bed. "She didn't really yell or lose it. She just went quiet. Obviously we're not okay. I had to tell her though. I really couldn't have kept it from her."

"No hope of a normal relationship," Jade muttered, and it took Davey a few minutes to remember their conversation in the common room.

"Didn't we say that about roommates or milk or something? That felt like months ago."

"It probably was."

"Weeks. Or something."

Every word they said seemed to carve out the static, make the space they were lying in seem safer and more normal, their voices less harsh in the silence of Jade's room.

"I didn't think I'd be this much of an asshole this early into college," Davey half-laughed, half choked out.

"Yeah. Oh my god... this is not how I pictured my life turning out, I have to say. But no. Yeah." Jade's voice was suddenly very small. "I didn't plan for it to happen or set out to hurt Rose. I just didn't care at the time."

"I kind of chose to ignore the girls too. I guess neither of us wanted to think about it."

"Yeah, that was it." Jade quietly began to crack his knuckles. Davey winced at every sound, wondering how his fingers hadn't snapped off by now. "Rose and Linda are both so _nice_."

"I know." Davey let his eyes slide shut against the nauseating guilt in the pit of his stomach, not sure if it was better or worse to know that Jade felt the same way. "Linda was one of the first friends I made here. I was completely shocked that I lucked out enough to meet someone that cool at a college house party. She gets on so well with my roommates. And she likes half the bands that I like. And she's the only person I know that's never made fun of Adam for being crazy and studying first year biology all day."

"Adam does study a lot. What's up with that?"

"He wants to be a doctor."

"Fair enough." Jade snorted. "Jesus though. A freshman, studying? Actually _studying_? Who needs that crap?"

"He's focused as all fuck."

They fell silent for a moment, reflecting on thoughts of Adam and how hard he studied. Davey felt the vague flickers of study-related guilt in the pit of his stomach, but dismissed the feeling. There was more than enough time before finals.

"You know," Jade said suddenly, "I have pictured this before."

"Pictured what?" Davey shifted so that his arms were folded underneath his head. He could pick out the shape of Jade in the dark, head tilted towards him.

"Lying in bed with you exchanging pillow talk."

"Really?"

"I didn't think we'd be talking about Adam. I really didn't picture any of this happening the way it did, either. I guess I always separated you and everyone else in my mind."

Davey was quiet for a moment, heart pounding. He imagined he could hear Jade's heart thumping too, in the shakiness and smallness of his voice.

"As soon as I moved in I kind of lost my shit," he said eventually.

"You lost your shit?"

"Over you. Ages ago."

Davey sucked in a breath of air, and reached for Jade's hand in the dark. Jade took it, fingers closing around his and squeezing. Davey squeezed back.

He was so tired that, with his eyes closed, it felt like the room was tilting gently from side to side. Blurry half-thoughts and images flitted across his mind; Jade's stupid hair, the smell of tomato paste from the restaurant, those fucking stupid cartoon bees. Fuck those bees. The warmth of Jade's hand in his, the pulse in Jade's thumb. Briefly, he entertained the idea of explaining this situation to his mother. Even to his half-asleep mind, it sounded like a bad idea. He knew she would be able to acclimatise to the idea of Davey being with a boy, and that thought was comforting, but she would have been disappointed to say the least if he told her that he and Jade happened during Linda and Rose, rather than after it.

"Mom would be pretty annoyed if I told her," he mumbled nonsensically, and Jade mumbled something that sounded like "mmurrgghhblerg" in response, and snuggled closer to him, throwing an arm over his waist and nuzzling into Davey's side.

"But it's not the end of the world," Jade sighed, breath tickling the side of Davey's neck.

Davey found Jade's hand again, and held it tightly.


End file.
